


1986

by CrazyEyebrows



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, Concerts, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Nightmares, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 09:30:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17384006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyEyebrows/pseuds/CrazyEyebrows
Summary: The band in on their last tour, and John's too tired to party. Freddie and him have an emotional talk. While in the bathtub.Maylor confirmed, Deacury mentioned but they're not dating.I ended it sadly. There's not meant to be a continuation of this, but who knows.





	1986

 "We love you London!"   
  
John took a deep breath, and bowed. All four boys waltzed off the stage, Freddie and Brian bickering as they did.   
  
 "It was lovely Darling, really."   
  
 "But are you just saying that? I feel like we should change it. The solo just... sounds off to me."   
  
John sighed, taking a drink from a water fountain once he made it off stage. He felt a sharp pat on his back and choked, letting go of the fountain to cough into his elbow. He spun around quickly to see who the hell would do such a thing.    
  
As it turns out, the rude bastard was his own best friend, and drummer.   
  
 "Oh, sorry John. I didn't mean to scare you." The hint of a smirk on his lips strongly suggests otherwise, but John only gives it a moments thought before the subjects changed.   
 "Are you going to the bar t'night? Might sound crazy, but I'm willing to join."   
  
Usually, John would be so very ready for a disco party, wanting to boogey out all of his adrenaline. But tonight, however, set him up for only wanting to go to sleep.   
  
 "Not tonight, Rog. I'm pretty tired actually. Sorry." He tacked on the apology and walked away, Roger following him.   
  
 "Everything okay, Deacon? You're not... Don't seem..." John furrowed his brows and turned to face Roger again. He grabbed him by the shoulders, which obviously startled him. He squinted, and,   
  
 "You're high. You should go sleep too." He mumbled, and Roger only frowned.   
  
 "I'm fine. Brian and I are goin' out together."   
  
 "What am I doing?" Brian came up to the two, as if on cue. He wrapped an arm around Roger. John blushed and looked around a little nervously. He just didn't see the need to be so open and publicly affectionate like that.   


Brian seemed to catch his nervousness, and sighed,   
 "No one's here, John. Just us. It's not like any of our roadies haven't seen it before." John looked less nervous, but the feeling had a short stay. Soon, Freddie was behind him, and before he could react he felt his long arms drape over his shoulders.   
  
 "Deacy, dear," Freddie croaked. John has noticed that lately, Freddie's been much less able to handle the set life. Good thing this show isn't far from Freddie's home.   
"I'm tired." Freddie whined in a whisper, and John sighed. Roger snorted at the two.   
  
 "Yet we're the improper ones. Oh, please." John blushed darkly as Brian giggled along childishly. Roger and Brian said their goodbyes, leaving John and Freddie to their own devices. John turned and helped Freddie walk. He was concerned, only as Freddie seems to be limping slightly.   
  
 "Are you okay, Fred?" John asked quietly, and Freddie nodded.   
  
 "I'm alright.. Tired." Freddie was exhausted a lot more these days. Though, John guesses he can't blame him. He too, used to be so jittery after shows. Now he just wanted a nap.   
  
The two walked home, not feeling like making a grand entrance with a big limo or tour bus. Freddie let him in through the back door, and as soon as they were on the couch, John was falling asleep.    
  
Freddie, although still weak, managed to force John into a better cuddling position, and John hardly complied. He tried, moving his legs and arms to get Freddie between him, but Freddie didn't stop until he was perfect.    
  


* * *

  
  
John wakes up, and all he can think is,   
_ Gross. _   
  
His heart was pounding, and he went to clutch at it, but he soon realized what was in the way.   
  
He still had Freddie on his chest, and he could feel himself in his pool of sweat on the tacky couch. Slowly, he reached to Freddie, trying to slip out from under him.   Freddie was, unfortunately, an easy waker. Upon being nudged to the side, he awoke, startled. He blinked a few times at the sight of John getting up, too bleary to enjoy the view of his ass when John pulled up his damp jeans.    
  
John grunted, turning and noticing the dark doe eyes staring up at him.   
 "Good morn Fred. I'm just gonna take a shower and I'll be right back." He explained in a whisper, patting Freddie's knee.   
  
 "Can I come?" John winced at Freddie's voice, still not fully recovered from the long set.    
  
John was shaking slightly, cold without the sweat making his body disgustingly warm. He sighed.   
  
 "For a bath then?" John asked, and Freddie nodded slightly.   
 "Can you walk?" He asked as a follow-up, to which Freddie took a moment, and shook his head.   
  
John was considered the weakest of the four, Brian and Freddie being dubbed the strongest, making it no surprise to either of them that he struggled. Freddie wrapped his arms around Johns neck, and after a few moments of readjusting, he was finally able to pick him up bridal style- through power of a clenched jaw and will alone.   
  
Freddie was grateful, and showed so through a friendly nuzzle into John's neck. John carefully brought him to the overly extravagant bathroom, the tub triple what it needed to be to fit the both of them. He very gently set Freddie on a stool.    
  
 "You must be exhausted.. you were more all over the place than usual. Which is hard for you, Fred." John started peeling his clothes off, letting all but his boxers pile onto the floor.    
  
 "Don't be ridiculous. I could run a mile, if I wanted. Just.. still waking up, Darling." Freddie spoke quietly, as John kneeled down to untie his shoes for him.   
  
After John had mostly undressed Freddie, he started running the bath, filled with bubbles and soaps and nice smelling things that Freddie enjoyed. He quietly peeled off the final of their clothes, before helping Freddie into the bath and getting in himself.    
  
Freddie leaned back with a long and loud sigh, a small 'Thank you,' escaping him as he groaned at the perfect water temperature.   
  
John felt as though he can't remember a time the two didn't share intimacy like this, and started soundlessly mulling over their friendship. He settled on the idea that they're closer than Brian and Roger are, but in a different way, and released the thought from his mind. He looks to Freddie, to find him staring.   
  
 "What?" John asks, subconsciously scratching at his own bare chest, upon noticing Freddie's fuller one.    
  
 "Are you okay?" Freddie frowned slightly with his words, and continues upon seeing John's perplexed look.   
"You were whining all night, I barely slept. You sweat through the couch so much I'd thought you'd wet yourself."   
  
John fiddled with his fingers, staring at the tub rather than his friend.   
  
 "Well, I suppose I had a rather bad dream. But it was nothing. Just.. scary. I s'pose." John shrugged it off, lying through his teeth. He had actually woken up quite terrified, but refused to admit this to Freddie.   
  
 "Let's talk about it." Freddie pulled close to John, nearly sitting on his lap as he hugged Johns shoulder.   
  
He sighed, and after a moments hesitation, patted Freddie's arm.   
  
 "It.. well.. To be honest, it just felt very real." Freddie nods as John speaks, letting him have a moment to collect the entire memory.   
  
 "It was us, yeah. All four of us. We were eating dinner together, at Rog's flat. But.. you were crying. And Brian and Roger just kept eating like you weren't, while I was just too nervous to do anything. You went from just crying, to sobbing, to screaming like someone was killing you. It hurt a lot to see you like that, Fred. And I tried asking Brian and Roger what was wrong with you, and Roger just ignored me. After a couple tries, Brian said you were dying, and that I was to just deal with it. I couldn't, after your wailing, and when I got up to hug you with tears in my own eyes, you disappeared. and Brian and Roger completely just scoffed and turned their noses at me, like-like I'd done it on purpose."    
  
Freddie grabbed John's hand as his voice started to waiver, and squeezed tightly.   
  
 "Brian stood, and told me him and Roger were going to the studio, and that I was banned from coming because I'd killed you... And then I woke up."   
  
Freddie frowned, humming against John's arm. He was silent for a few moments, rubbing at John's arm.   
  
 "Are you worried for me, Deacy?" He questioned, looking up at John's slightly tearful face.   
  
 "I... a little. If 'm honest. You're.. Don't take it the wrong way, but you seem.."   
  
 "Sick?" Freddie supplied, and John took Freddie's hand in his own. He squeezed.   
  
 "Yeah," John croaked out, putting his head on Freddie's.   
  
Freddie took a deep breath, and pulled John's hand out of the water to kiss the back of it. John then kissed the back of Freddie's hand before letting them both fall back into the warm water.    
  
 "John." Freddie let out his long, shaky breath.   
  
 "Yeah, Fred?" John looked down at him.   
  
He was about to speak, the words on the tip of his tongue.   
  
 "I-" John jumped, a loud five cracks on the door, he turned.   
  
 "Fred? Are you in there? We can't find John, he has my laundry. I need his house key." Brian's loud voice came through the door, and John had to sigh out a breath. After only a moment, his heart was spiked again, as the door was slammed open.   
  
 "Hey bitch, where's- Oh hey John." Roger bursted in, Brian looking positively exhausted behind him. John covered his face in his hands, and Freddie laughed softly.    
  
 "His pants are in the corner there dear," Freddie coughed, lifting his arm out of the water to point, "keys should be there. Careful. They're damp."   
  
Brian grimaced, but retrieved the keys.   
  
 "Now, we've caught you in a bath together, and you're still going to tell me you're 'just friends'?" Roger asked, crossing his arms at the two.    
  
Freddie just laughed at him.    
  
 "You're welcome to join us, both of you." He challenged, and John sighed. John loved his friends, but his anxiety was slowly creeping up on him. Freddie took notice, and grabbed John's hand in his own again under the bubbles.   
  
Roger grinned, peeling off his clothes. Brian set the keys on the stool, and frowned.   
  
 "Are we really doing this? Roger, we have things to do, you know." Brian complained. Even through gritted teeth and complaining, Roger's puppy eyes got to him, and he started to undress himself just as Roger was sinking in next to Freddie.   
  
 "Oh my god, Fred, did you run this bath? It's perfect." Roger moaned, sinking into it. John only laughed a little, head resting on Freddie's shoulder.   
  
Brian was soon in next to John. While Freddie helped get Roger situated, Brian grabbed John close. He ignored the protesting squeaks as he pulled John into his lap and wrapped his lanky limbs around him comfortably.   
  
The four sat in a comfortable silence for a long while, until Brian spoke up.   
  
 "So, why were you two here in the first place?" He asked, petting John's slightly wet hair.   
  
John explains his nightmare a second time, slightly less detailed and trying not to seem so emotional. He thinks it must not have worked, soon, Roger and Brian were both holding him.   
  
He hears more than feels the tears dropping into the water, and the sniffles escaping him as he breathes. He feels Brian kiss his ear and whisper,   
  
 "We'd never hurt you like that, John." Brian promises, and Roger agrees. John starts breathing heavily, and worms his way out of the two's hold.    
  
 "It's okay.. I know. I'm fine. You don't have to.. do that." He backed into Freddie, who wrapped an arm around him.    
  
 "We're here for you, John."   
  
 "I know. Thank you guys. I appreciate it.. a lot."   
  
There was a few more moments of silence.   
  
 "Guys?" Freddie's voice cracked, and the three look to him.   
  
 "I... I have something to tell you."   
  
 "What is it, Fred?" Roger asks, taking Freddie's hand in his own.   
  
 "I...." He choked.    
  
 "I have aids."   



End file.
